Sunlight, Thorns, and Blood
by Rae'vyn Phiar
Summary: Though pranking Marluxia is enough fun for Axel, Roxas wants something else. It gets dark, so be warned now. Rated M for dark and heavy yaoi and S&M content. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
1. Chapter 1

_Hey! Just so you know, this one is a little S&M-esce. Don't like, don't read. It's not too bad, but be warned anyways! Yaoi content, S that's why it's rated M._

**_I don't own Kingdom Hearts! Nor do I own Axel, Roxas, or Marluxia! _**_I kinda wish I did though, to have people who could explain shit about that game to me... I need to do more research... :)_

**AkuRoku - Sunlight, Thorns, and Blood**

"Ready?" Roxas slapped his hand against his mouth in order to stop himself from laughing at what Axel was proposing they do to the pink-haired gardener tending to his _lovely_ pink roses a few yards away. He held the scissors tightly in one hand as his older friend held a razor blade, unwilling to trust the younger with a knife. How Axel came to that logic, being as he was the keyblade wielder, made no sense to the blue-eyed Nobody.

He held three fingers up and counted down silently, finally charging at the man who was humming some girly pop tune under his breath. Within seconds, they'd held him down and began to cut long strands of pink hair off of his head, all the while Marluxia trying to cut and stab at them with his garden shears.

With a furious glare, he threw the pair off of him and they ran for their lives. Marly had summoned his pink scythe and shit was going to go down if the effeminate Number Eleven caught up with them. Laughing, Roxas leapt for an open door once he rounded a corner and grabbed Axel's wrist as well. He gave a mischievous glare as Axel's hand clamped onto his sniggering mouth. Pounding footsteps and the sounds of crying and cursing rushed past the door and they waited a few minutes.

"I think we're okay." The blonde tentatively opened the door and then, seeing no one stalking them, pink-haired and out for blood, he ran out, the taller man following him closely. "Now what? That didn't take as long as I wanted it to." They stepped out onto the soft, tilled earth of the garden and Roxas inhaled. The sweet scent of roses permeated the area, overpowering the vile stench of some of the herbs growing in small plots for Vexen's experimentation.

Axel raised his head high and felt the sunlight on his tan skin, its warmth enveloping him in wonderful radiance. Then he looked at the younger Nobody, who was kneeling next to one of the bushes of roses, his hand extended to cup one of the blossoms.

Then he hissed and pulled his hand away, a bead of blood escaping a stabbing thorn's prick. He wiped the crimson dot on his jacket, but then Axel took that hand.

"Let me see." He dug inside his pants pocket for a bandage, ignoring the protests from Roxas.

"Stop it. It's a little scratch." The elder held his hand in one of his own as he applied the sticky bandage to his fingertip. Why did he feel the need to carry around these sorts of things anyway?! "I'm going to live."

Axel brought the finger to his lips, kissing it lightly. "A kiss will make it better." Then he sighed, sitting down and crossing his ankles in front of himself on the dusty earth to bask in the warmth of the sun. Closing his eyes, he frowned when his sunlight was shielded by a shadow above him.

He was taken aback when he opened one blazing green eye to see fiercely blue orbs staring at him. Roxas knelt at his side and Axel scooted a few inches away from him at first, surprised, then he put his hands behind his head as he laid down. "What is it?"

"I'm bored. Let's do something else. Preferably to either Dem or Zexion. Let's start a fire out of his books!" The blonde was certainly getting excited, and Axel wanted no part in his boring-sounding schemes if the sun was shining. There were few days like this, when Marly was still to be found and he could relax in the purity of the sunlight.

The look on the redhead's face clearly stated that he was annoyed by him, and his response even more so. "Then find something to do. I'm staying here, if you don't mind." He felt a hand brushing his hair back from his forehead and heard a heavy sigh of what he thought was sad contentment. Then a small puff of dust made him cough.

"What did you do?" Roxas was lying next to him, smiling as he enjoyed the light and the scents around him, no, around _them_. His eyes were closed and he looked like he was at peace, like he was nearly asleep. He looked so calm and angelic in this light that it made Axel's breath hitch. He couldn't help but brush a hand across his cheek, wanting to touch that person beside him who looked so perfectly innocent.

The blonde smiled and took hold of his hand, pressing it against his cheek and kissing its black-wrapped surface before scooting closer to him, resting his head against his shoulder. The redhead drew him next to him by slinging an arm around his thin shoulders and tucking him away against his side.

"I cannot believe we cut off Marluxia's hair." Roxas began to laugh at his remark and slid a hand over Axel's shoulder. Axel turned his attention from the sky to his partner, who looked at him with laughing eyes. He chuckled and spoke.

"At least he hasn't found us yet. I wonder why he hasn't stopped looking for us yet. I'd have thought he'd be back here by now."

Roxas lifted his head and kissed his cheek, nuzzling closer to him and burying his head in the crook of his neck and giggling a little at the spread of warmth that ran across Axel's face.

"I know what we could do now." The redhead raised a small eyebrow at that and saw the same look in the blonde's eyes as he felt in his own. Leaning down, with the junior of the pair moving upwards, he caught Roxas' pale lips in his own, the strength and assurance that the contact left him spreading throughout his body.

He quickly broke away, a saddened look on his partner's face, but then he wrapped his arms around his waist and knees and stood, hiding behind a thick hedge of rosebushes. He wanted them to remain out of sight; even though he knew they weren't going to be silent. Still holding the small boy in both arms, he bent down and kissed him softly, his lips barely touching his at first. Then the force between their mouths strengthened, deepening until the blonde finally parted his lips, allowing his tongue to press against Axel's lower lip in question.

On his knees, the redhead opened his mouth, his hot breath melding with Roxas'. He sat carefully and slid his arm out from under the blonde so that the boy sat on his lap, leaning into his chest. Axel had one knee upright as Roxas fought with him for dominance, a fight in which the blonde was the victor due to the redhead's allowance of the practice.

Roxas forced his back down slowly, one of his hands cradling the back of his elder's neck and head, his knees straddling one of the redhead's long legs as he was forced to change his position. The grass in this area was soft and abundant, feeling much like a down comforter as the older man grabbed the collar of his younger partner's jacket, balling his hand inside of the fabric and pulling his face in close to his. His sapphire eyes displayed not a drop of fear, but were liquid and solid at the same time, his sureness of the future the only thing Axel wanted to know.

The blonde grasped the short hair at the base of his crimson hairline and dragged it upwards, the grimace on his superior's face calming into a content smile against his mouth and tongue quickly. Axel's free hand drifted toward the teen's small jacket and a burst of warm air let itself into his clothing as he unzipped it in one motion. The black tee the boy had on underneath the heavy garment had no coverage once he had his hand on it, nor his say in whether or not it should be removed.

He stopped his thinking when he felt sharp teeth at his lip, sinking into the flesh lightly and making his back bow upwards into the boy. Cold blue eyes glared at him, their tone much darkened with what he took for greed.

"I didn't tell you to ruin my shirt. I happen to like this one a lot and you shredded it to pieces. How did you…?" Sharp fingernails dug into his bare shoulders- Wait, when was his jacket unzipped?

Axel's body stiffened at the cruel but satisfying pain that sprung from the marks. "I'll buy you a new one if you stop bitching." He, in turn, ran his hands along Roxas' sides, from shoulder to hip, allowing his fingers to linger on each curve of bone and muscle. As he saw a light pink tone rise in his partner's cheeks, he felt cool hands caress down his chest, halting their descent when his fingertips brushed the hem of his pants.

He then took that opportunity to bend down and lick up the redhead's throat, over the square of his jaw, and into his ear, allowing soft moans to call into the pale shell. His skin was warm against his tongue, his strong hands rubbing at his torso, feeling so _good_ that it alone could send him into ecstasy. The blonde felt goosebumps and shivers run through the man beneath him, sending sparks along his spine.

The coldness and warmth at Axel's ear made him moan a little, right before he grabbed the boy by his waist and pulled him underneath himself, sitting atop the boy's upper thighs, just below his hips. His knees were bent out at either side of Roxas, and he caught a look of fear and surprise on the teen's face before the redhead bent down to nip at his shoulder and neck.

The sensation of Axel's body pressing from all sides combined with the whispers of warm breath on his bare skin caused Roxas to close his eyes and lie still, his mouth falling open in a silent moan. He felt one hand reach his, lacing their fingers together as the other hand reached down, rubbing his hip.

It took most of the wasting-away concentration that the blonde had remaining to tell his partner to stop. All he received was a chuckle and the nipping turning into marking.

"Dammit… Axel… I said _stop_… Please…?" He yanked on his crimson hair with the hand that wasn't held down, but the elder grunted and grabbed that hand, slamming it into the earth, sinking his teeth into his shoulder. Roxas shuddered at first, as he enjoyed the bite briefly, but then emitted a cry of pain and kicked over his leg, turning them around and slamming his hands into Axel's wrists. He caught them into his shoulders, pinning him down by sticking his knees into his thighs.

"I said enough." He spoke through clenched teeth. His eyes caught the dot of crimson that blotted on the redhead's face and ran down the side of his cheek, just below the deep purple marking on his cheeks, the second drop spattering on his lip. Then he got the picture, his blue eyes widening as he finally _felt_ the pain for real.

Roxas let him up and he was shaking, his hands reaching delicately for the pair of teeth marks he'd left on the boy's shoulder. As his fingers landed, the blonde let out a hiss, the pain making tears well up in his eyes. He bit his lips to stop from yelling. He looked down at the wound and cringed. There was blood dripping down his chest as well. Then he looked at Axel.

The redhead was wide-eyed, staring at the blood and the bite**. (AN: I wasn't sure if Axel is blood shy, but I wanted something for later chapters. Sorry if you hate it)** His tongue tasted a coppery flavor on his lips and teeth. He was shaking, trying to remain calm, but then he snapped, falling forward into the uninjured shoulder and apologizing over and over again in a quiet voice. His words shook as well. Soon after, Roxas could barely tell what the redhead was saying. He was soundless from trying to hold back his emotion.

"Here…" The blonde removed his jacket and what was left of his shirt, wrapping a few strips of tattered cloth around three fingers and then pressing it down on the marks. Axel's mind soon came into reality and he ripped the rest of the shirt, wrapping the pad of fabric onto his shoulder tightly. Then he sunk into depression once more, his eyes staring at the blood on the pale skin. Staring at the blood on his hands…

"I'm…" His breath hitched and his eyes shut, his hand clutching at his chest. Axel knew it would leave an ugly scar when it healed… He'd never wanted to mark the boy in this way… Roxas pressed both hands to either side of his face and forced him to look at his face rather than the black-wrapped wound. Instead of looking at the crimson that dotted his shoulder and chest, he was forced to look at something much brighter.

"Axel, look at me, not at the blood." It took a bit for the green eyes that pierced with pain and fear, sorrow and apology, to focus on his blue ones. "I'm fine, really…" He leaned up and wrapped his hands around his lover' neck. "I don't mind what you do to me… because I know you won't try to hurt me…right?" His voice was barely a whisper, and his eyes closed halfway. Their lips met in the middle, the redhead now showing his emotion in the way he kissed back, their bodies twining together as they fell together to the side.

The two Nobodies slowed themselves and simply laid there for a time, looking at each other and understanding themselves as well as each other in a way they'd never known before. Axel linked their fingers together and smiled, kissing the younger once, twice, thrice on the lips softly. The blonde gazed back at him, then traced the outlines of the near-black markings on his face with a soft fingertip.

"I think I hear Marluxia…"

The blonde pouted and wrapped his arms around the person next to him. "I don't want to leave yet. We can kill Marly…"

The offer was tempting, but Axel rolled his eyes. "Weren't you the one who asked to leave and do something else a while ago?" He heard footsteps and became impatient. "C'mon. You need your…" He swallowed. "You need your shoulder wrapped up properly anyway."

Then they stood, however slowly and reluctantly, gathered themselves, found their respective clothing items, and walked back through the castle, hand-in-hand. They left the sunlight and the memories of that day behind them, but Roxas always traced that faint, healing mark until it was fully cured, reminding himself to tell Axel the next time they were alone that he'd enjoyed the pain…


	2. Chapter 2

_So, yeah. This is my first lemon, and it continues on the next chapter. Please don't give me hate._

_I only wish I owned Kingdom Hearts, but sadly I don't._

**_YAOI AND S&M CONTENT! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!_**

**AkuRoku – Minds and Fractured Pleasure : Part One**

Roxas gazed at the ragged edges of the bite scar he'd received a few weeks ago in the mirror. He still hadn't told Axel what he promised himself he would tell him, when the time arose. He'd never had it in himself to tell him when they were alone, and even then, those times were very few. They'd both been extremely busy, and he felt as if he'd let himself down.

His heart, had he one, would have been hurting terribly, but not from injury. He wanted to scream his newly-found pleasure from the rooftops. He wanted to let the elder know that he was not in the wrong that day; that he hadn't been as mad at the redhead as he'd seemed that time in the sun. His fingertips lingered on the pale mark for a few seconds as he pulled his shirt over his head and zipped up his jacket.

'_I don't want to lose him… but I might if I _tell_ him…'_ He was afraid, that was for sure, but he also wanted Axel to know that part of him. Standing, he shut off his lights and walked over to his white bed. Sitting on the edge of the mattress, he felt ill. The sickness it caused him was only getting worse the longer he fretted, and he shook his head and clamped his hands over his ears, trying not to yell out in his frustration between what he feared for the future and what he wanted right now.

The blonde jumped as his door clicked softly open, a tall redhead entering as if he owned the place. He sounded tired and pissed off as he spoke. "C'mon. Saїx wants us down there _now_." He caught the young one's gaze, his fear clear in his deep blue eyes. What had he to fear about him? "What's wrong?" His tone was much softer; caring and worried.

Axel stepped up to his bed and sat next to him, making Roxas jump again and the old bedframe creak a bit. The boy became more and more afraid, and with that fear was coupled the urge to blurt what he wanted to say right here and now. His heart would have pounded in his chest, but he didn't have one. Instead, in replacement, his stomach grew into a pit from which no escape was possible. He needed to speak, but he found no words to say.

"You're freaking out about something. What is it?" It was like the redhead read his damned mind! Roxas looked up at the elder and met warm, understanding and worried eyes. Finding it deep within himself to speak, he muttered his dilemma to himself and then looked away, too afraid of his partner's possible answer to look at him.

He felt a warm hand reach down and grasp his chin, pulling his gaze back onto the taller man. His eyes longed for the ending of this torture, and his arms wrapped protectively around the small teen. "No matter what it is, I don't care. You always have that way of knowing what's in my head, so it's time that you share your thoughts. Tell me, please, Roxas. I'm just asking for _one_ repeat, and then I won't ask again."

With those words, the blonde lost all fear for a few moments and squeezed his eyes shut as he said, louder and haltingly, "Remember, when we cut off Marly's hair and then we…? Remember when you… to my shoulder…? I… liked…that…" He felt the redhead stiffen next to him and then began to frantically try to lure him away from what he'd said. "See, you're weirded out now! I _knew_ this would happen! Just forget it- Mhhmp!"

His struggling-to-explain lips were covered by softer ones almost immediately, the force of the kiss telling Roxas all he needed to understand.

Axel didn't care.

The elder pulled away, wrapping the child in 0his embrace and whispering. "You're talking about the time I bit you, right?" Roxas nodded into his shoulder. He spoke with a small chuckle next, "Dear one; I already know that." He felt the boy stiffen and he raised his head. Axel lifted an eyebrow and smirked. "You'd be surprised how much I know about you, Roxas. I don't think you know _half_ the things I know about you."

The blonde felt the solidarity of the person, the Nobody, in front of him and felt truth in the words he whispered into his ear. "What do you want from me now? Now that you've told me, I feel like I'm supposed to comfort you in some sort of way. And I'm not leaving until you're feeling better anyway, so don't try to make me go away."

Roxas' face was still searing from the mix of emotions inside of him being released. He would never force the redhead out of his room, not when he was so fragile and needed support. Even then, he wouldn't make him leave him alone. He sighed in his now slight frustration and confusion, and then spoke, looking into the pair of green eyes that gazed upon him with such a force of compassion and knowledge... "What I want… I don't want you to leave for the mission... Stay here, with me... for a while…"

"Anything else?" The words sounded letdown to Roxas, as if Axel had wanted a different request. Then his inner greed rose, feeling the need for some sort of physical boundary to be crossed between them and looked up.

He stared at him quizzedly and frowned, the face looking quite awkward, but so _adorable_. "Stop… being so calm with me about this… It's really weird…" He rose onto his knees and gazed down at the older man, the lips of said person curling into a wicked, knowing smile. The voice of the blonde turned sarcastic. "What I want… right?" Axel nodded. "Fine… Just kiss me… _dumbass_." He felt hands rise quickly to his neck and back, pulling him down to meet his lips.

As they connected, Roxas felt the nip of teeth at his lips almost immediately, the odd feeling of the dull pain translating into the perverse pleasure he felt strange but… accepting it felt so _good_, so utterly _right_…

Axel felt the boy shiver at his sharp teeth's touch, his eyes fluttering closed and his brows crushing above them. His lips felt the glorious tones of a low moan from deep within the youth's throat. He smiled against his lips as he gained entry into the younger's mouth, tasting every surface his tongue landed upon. Not able to stand the blonde in a higher position above himself, his dominant role taking over, he shoved Roxas' back to his sheets, looming in a dark lust above him.

All the boy wanted was Axel. All he felt was the strange, painful lust that flowed as easily as water in all of his limbs. All his mind centered on at that moment was the wondrous pleasure his fingers and teeth provided him, biting at his mouth and neck and shoulders.

He didn't know when the jackets covering the two of them were unzipped and thrown away, nor when his shirt was torn away from his body. Axel never wore a shirt anyway. Roxas felt a warm panting into his ear, the words of the man atop him trying to say something.

"You want this… I know you do…" He shivered as a warm tongue licked the rim of his ear. "I promise not to scar you." Roxas felt warm fingers at his scarred shoulder and Axel moved to kiss those marks lightly. His eyes, when they gazed down at the blonde, were warm and kind, the undertone of lust soon deepening their color. "I want this too…"

He rested his head on the well-built chest of the boy, unsure of the reaction he'd receive. The blonde looked outside of his window. The faint rays of silvery light that slid through the gaps in his curtains laced across his bitten and healed shoulder, the crimson-haired head lying against the marks paler than usual.

"Axel…?" The redhead kissed his collarbone in response. He lifted himself off the boy. The cool blue eyes pierced into his own, forcing the attention of his mind into those sad irises. He felt his body warm up immediately, feeling the tension within the blonde grow.

"What…?" Roxas lifted himself off his pillow with one arm, the other on the redhead's shoulder. His mind raced to try to pry those cold eyes off of his own, but he couldn't look away, not even for a second. They were emotionless, darkening with a heat that he knew well.

"I… know you won't try… but if you do… I'm okay with it."

'_I want this…_' the teen thought. Why was it that he never allowed himself to truly _feel_; to allow his actions to mirror what he wanted from the man before him? What was he so afraid of?

As the redhead met his lips once more, Roxas forced his mind to remain empty, allowing what his body knew to be true make things happen. He always overthought things, overcomplicating them to try to make sense. He'd never relied on what he felt or allowed a split-second decision to override his brain. Well, at least in the cases when he was alone with Axel.

He was also afraid of being inadequate; this he knew as he felt hot hands along his chest. '_Roxas, you idiot…_' he thought to himself, taking control of his mind before it was rendered blank again by Axel's motions, gliding towards his hips eagerly. '_Just stop thinking!'_

Roxas gasped, much to the redhead's expectance. He'd meant to snap him out of his mood, and as warm hands settled around his neck and shoulders, he felt the driving, animalistic need that he knew the boy felt too. The need… for what?

However, his mind was clouded after thinking this. The blonde felt his lips against the skin between his hip and the hem of his pants and gasped, a tremor that shook each part of his body rocketing down his spine. Without any sort of hesitation, Axel tore the thick fabric away. He felt the whisper of words spilling from the boy's mouth, not able to decipher the faint sounds.

"…What?" The redhead lifted his head and met eyes brimming with tears, the water dripping from the sides of bright blue eyes and drops already soaking bits of the white pillowcase.

His eyes were full of fear, but his mouth curled into a smile nevertheless. "… I said that I… I'm _feeling_… I can _feel_ again…" His hands moved to Axel's face, pulling him up to his face. As he met the elder's mouth, he whispered against his lips. "I'm not afraid of this anymore."


	3. Chapter 3

_So, yeah. This is my first lemon, and it continues here. This is where it gets serious, so I am warning you, please do not read it if you are sensitive. Please don't give me hate._

_I only wish I owned Kingdom Hearts, but sadly I don't._

**_YAOI AND S&M CONTENT! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!_**

**AkuRoku - Minds and Fractured Pleasure : Part Two**

The redhead had bitten his bottom lip so hard it had begun to bleed, the brilliant scarlet marring the elder's mouth matching the tone of his hair. The warmth that sprung over his cheeks made the man chuckle, his younger partner taking his lips again, the metallic taste of his own blood making his stomach turn a little. The painful bite turned into the sickening pleasure that Roxas felt every time Axel's tongue or lips brushed over the area.

The blonde took Axel's hand in his own, pressing it to the front of his hips. Feeling the warm hand try to free itself from his grasp, he growled low in his throat as he pushed it harder against himself. "I'm not afraid, so you shouldn't be either," he whispered, then gasped lightly. He was then met without hesitation. Rather, he was met with a smile against his lips and a warm hand against him, gently stroking him.

Axel felt the boy's hands tighten and his body convulse again as he quickened and roughened his motions. His breath hitched and his eyes fluttered shut as his steadily quickening breathing turned into ragged panting very quickly, his hands clutching at any part of the redhead he could reach as he was thrown over and over again into an emotion he barely felt anymore.

Ecstasy. Pure pleasure; each hit of the drug that flowed easily to every part of his body making the world, his worries, his pain go away to leave only Axel and himself. The only things he knew were the bed underneath him, the person looming above, and the white moonlight that lit up his world.

The fire dancer's lips rejoined with the young Nobody's, cutting him off mid-breath and causing his teeth to rip across his lip roughly. The line of fiery pain set Roxas' his mind ablaze. The redhead paused his movements for a few seconds, looking at the blonde with horror clear in his eyes.

"I'm fine… Stop… that…" Roxas could barely speak between his panting, the redhead reluctantly resuming his motions, his other hand, which had previously been at the blonde's shoulder, taking one of the younger's hands, lacing their fingers together. He felt sharp nails dig into the back of his palm, knowing the unfamiliar senses were getting to the boy. Getting into his head…

He suddenly felt a hand on the side of his face. He gazed into warm, wide blue eyes, their tone darkened but understanding. The heat of his lust and greed did not hide the truth of his partner, his lover. He no longer felt like the teen beneath him was frightened. He was much more mature than he'd thought the blond ever had been. Then the teen whispered something that he couldn't tell, nor did he need to understand.

Warmth surrounded Roxas from all around, an odd heat building in the pit of his stomach. Axel saw the azure eyes of his partner cloud over with dark lust, and he lost the shreds of morality he still felt as the blonde reached between them and touched the front of his pants. He stiffened, but relaxed into the hand almost immediately.

"Damn you…" Roxas didn't take the redhead's swearing literally after that, for he was drowning himself in his own pleasure with each word. After a time, he never could tell how long, the blonde was caught off guard as Axel tore away his pants and red boxers, his face hidden by darkness. Then he came into the silver light.

His eyes were a fierce green, both lit up and darkened, and his hands moved to his slim hips. Without warning, Roxas was thrown facedown on the pillow. He tried to get up, but one hand gripped both of his wrists while the other held his hip, sliding his boxers off his body.

"Axel…?"

"Shut up. Please, Roxas, just shut up."

He'd never told him to do that before, but as the blonde turned his head around, he saw that a darkened mask of caution hid the redhead's face as he moved the hand from his hips to his entrance, sliding a finger inside. Roxas, his emotional center already hurting badly from the onslaught of pleasure from before, cried out in both pain and fear, which slowly turned into pleasure and want as the redhead added two more digits.

"…Please…" The thin fingers he held in his hand twitched as Axel let go of the boy to turn him over again, lifting his hips and entering his partner hurriedly.

Roxas saw stars cross his eyes as he screamed in pleasure. The place deep within him was abused over and over again, but he didn't care. He didn't care so long as it was Axel inside of him. As long as it was his fiery hands against his hips and his lips saying his name over and over again.

His name was cried out one last time, almost a scream, as the redhead buried himself and felt a release from the heat that had pooled inside his stomach. A few moments later, the blonde cried out the redhead's name and came as well, white marring the red hair and crimson blood, the white sheets, and the silver light that his world had been reduced to so long ago.

The blonde felt empty, the emeralds refusing to meet his sapphire eyes. He felt violated, but… also… curiously satisfied… Being as this was one of his few times, he'd expected to feel this way, but he also couldn't help but feel…

Mid-thought, Roxas felt the elder Nobody crawl up next to him and hold him in his arms, allowing the young one to cry in his spent confusion and worries as his brain began to work the way it had always worked. The minds of the two were completely different; this the redhead came to realize much further as the tears began to spill over.

"Why…? Why in the hell am I like… this…?" The teen whimpered, crying into his chest as the older man pulled his sheets over them. He felt every curve of the elder's body hug his own, as if they were two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly. "I'm an overthinking… idiot…"

"Hush." The command arose quietly into the blonde's ear. "Hey…" Axel kissed the top of his head.

The blonde hiccupped and barely tried to hide the whimper that rose from his lips as he spoke. "What, Axel?"

"I love you."

Roxas smiled at that, his mind slowing as sleep seemed so damn inviting at that moment. He smiled even more so when his bloodied lips were pressed against the warm ones one last time. A small fire leapt to his mouth, but it was gone in an instant.

"I love you too."

No matter how much he'd hurt in the morning, Roxas didn't regret this night. Reduced to raw emotions, feelings, and senses, he'd been mentally kicked in the face. But he forgot all his pain as warm arms and a warm body lulled him to a quiet sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello! This is the last chapter... :( Anywhoo, hope you liked this, and please feel free to review or give me ideas for my next story. Thank you!_

_I wish I owned Kingdom Hearts, but all I own are licensed copies of the art and games... I don't own the license!_

**AkuRoku - Healing Thorns**

Roxas was right. He ached so badly in so many places that it was a wonder that he could find the will to stand up. When he'd awoken, Axel had left. There were no signs of the events the night before other than faint stains on the sheets and pillowcase, dark red dots mixing in as well.

He yawned and stretched. Then he regretted his actions, curling up into a ball on the floor and shaking in the pain that blazed throughout his body. '_What the hell did he do to me…?'_ He stood back up after a bit, collecting his strewn-about clothes and tossing them into his clothes basket. Dressing quickly, he zipped up his coat and looked in his mirror. What he saw made him cringe.

There were large bruised areas along his neck and collarbones, and two cuts along his mouth, one a deep puncture mark, inflicted by a canine tooth, the other a long scrape. There would be no way to cover them up, and he cursed the redhead silently. He touched the cuts gently and recoiled in pain, hissing like a cat.

"Dammit Axel!" he yelled to the ceiling, throwing aggravated fists into the air. "Why the hell'd you have to-!?"

"I heard my name?" A lanky, tired-looking, crimson-haired _moron_ walked past him from his bathroom, fully dressed and with one eyebrow raised. The voice made the teen jump away a few feet and then he glared up at him, pointing at his neck and mouth.

"The _fuck_ did you have to do this?! There's no way I'll be able to cover these up!" Then he crossed his arms and cringed a little as his shoulders ached a touch. He spoke softer as his cheeks began to redden. "I could hardly stand when I woke up." He didn't meet the elder's eyes, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Axel leaned over and gazed at the marks, frowning. "Well, at least you're able to stand. And these aren't as bad as you think. I think you'll live through Xiggy's taunts." Then he gripped the teen's shoulder, speaking quietly. "And don't forget- pain and you are friends, right? It was you who wanted me to do that."

The blonde's cheeks darkened and the redhead smirked, a chuckle playing along his words. "Your mouth better heal up soon, or I'll have to kiss it better." As a mockery, he blew a kiss as he strode past Roxas, his small pouted mouth adorable but the glaring azure eyes… a touch scary, actually.

"Shut up Axel!" Thinking better of his actions, the redhead circled back and dragged the stool underneath the sink out.

"At least let me patch you up. You sort of suck at that. Sit on the counter." The blonde hopped up and the redhead sat on the wooden stool, eye level with the teen as he dug around in the bottommost drawer of the chest underneath until he found the first aid box.

Tearing open a small packet, he applied a clear gel to a small, round bandage and brought it to Roxas' face. He stuck it over the deeper mark, then spoke. "There's not much I can do about the longer one but put some strips on it. Is that okay?"

"Yeah." The redhead removed a roll of tape from the box and a pair of scissors. He cut thin strips of the skin-colored tape and dabbed them into place, holding the edges of the ragged-edged cut together. He saw a little weeping of new blood from the wound, but it otherwise held.

Axel then looked at the purplish marks along the teen's shoulders, collarbones, and neck. "Sorry. You should ask Vexen if you want those gone. He should have some weird shit for healing." Roxas seemed discouraged and a little embarrassed that he'd mentioned their superior Nobody, but then he shrugged and smiled slightly.

"It's not like bruises take that long to heal anyway." The redhead leaned forward and kissed the pale cheek of the teen before packing the first aid stuff away. "Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"I have a question."

The redhead seemed intrigued. "What is it?"

"Why…did you tell me to shut up? Yesterday…you told me to…"

The elder rubbed behind his ear and spoke, his voice quiet and strained. "Well… I was trying to figure out what you wanted from me. You were really weird yesterday… You seemed depressed all day too. Well, you're sort of like that anyway, with your changing moods and such, but I came in to see what the problem was anyway, and then everything just…" He sighed. "I was confused and scared to hurt you too badly." He waved a hand at the boy's face. "Looks like I did more bad than good here…"

"Hey, don't blame yourself. It was-" Axel slammed a hand against the blonde's mouth. The boy cringed as he felt the cuts open and crack again.

His green eyes blazed with the emerald fire of rage. "Don't you _dare_ say that it was your fault! Don't place the blame on you or your desires, Roxas. I was the one who made it escalate. I was the one who forced… myself… to do the things…" He swallowed, his voice faltering as his eyes dropped to the floor. "I don't want to see you in pain… No matter what sort…"

The blonde's eyes widened and he was stricken speechless with shock as the gloved hand fell away. '_He's… afraid of hurting me…? Did I push him… yesterday…?'_ He leaned forward, hooking his heels into the ridge at the edge of the underside of the counter he sat on, and hugged the elder tightly.

"Did I force you to do…?" Roxas couldn't finish his sentence, for his throat had constricted around the painful lump inside from holding back tears. He was such a child, crying so distastefully. He still was, being so much younger than the man he held in his arms, but he didn't mind. The age difference mattered not when you took the rest of his being into account.

He felt Axel embrace him back and suddenly he wasn't sitting down. "Hey!"

The redhead ignored the blonde's protests as he walked the few yards to the younger's bed and sat down with him in his lap. "Axel! I'm _talking_ to you!" Roxas was silent then as the Nobody he still held clasped his hands in his own and kissed his mouth in a whisper, the touch gentle and warm and forgiving.

"I wasn't… _pushed_ to do anything. You _let_ me do that. It was my fault because I was afraid to allow myself to do those sorts of things… I hate pain. I hate suffering. I _hate_ it, but I forced myself to try to make the pain in your dormant, once-existent heart and remaining mind go away…"

"Axel…"

"I don't mind using my, well, _quasi_-existence, to allow myself to do these sorts of things. I know I could disappear at any moment, so I want my life to mean _something_... to everyone… to _you_…"

Once again came the tears that he had to fight away, wanting to express these strange emotions to the elder so badly it hurt, but not allowing himself to seem weak after he'd fought for so long to get this time. The blonde bit his lip to force himself to focus on the words that had fallen from the scarlet-haired fiery dancer's mouth.

Those piercing emeralds blazed so badly that it hurt his cold sapphire eyes to gaze at their twin flames. "Just…" he tried to make his thoughts turn into words, but he left his speech at that, much to the redhead's puzzlement.

'_He's so right. He or I could fade away any time. I _want_ this time with him… I _want_ this time and it hurts and it screams and it forces my brain to splatter from stress and strange emotions every minute, every _second_, I'm with him, but I live it and I love…'_

Roxas felt those black-swathed arms tighten around him, his mind racing as his cheeks flared light scarlet.

"You're overthinking again. Worrying about something?" His voice was soft, lighting into his ears like music from a foreign land, and hinted at his thoughts. Axel really _did_ read his mind. "I worry about you a lot, you know… For example; I worry if you'll come back to me every time you and Xion go away on a mission, when you're asleep and I don't know if you'll awaken to the light, every time you get angry at me for something I did… I worry if I'll feel your warm embrace again…"

His eyes darkened as he turned from the shafts of light flowing in past the shut drapes. The pale face of the boy… He didn't want it contorted in his terrible pleasures of pain ever again.

"I'm sorry… For causing you pain…"

"Stop that. Don't apologize! I don't want to hear you! I… I _never_ want to hear you say you're sorry for anything you do to me_ ever again!_" He was shouting now, the redhead now the one silent. He was breathing heavily, then noticing the crimson spikes lying in all directions and the darkness shadowing half of the man's face. He'd forced him to the ground, well, _bed_, in his anger, one hand around his sun-kissed throat in a threatening claw. His other hand dug into his wrists, holding them above his head.

He felt the vibration of his vocal cords against his palm as the elder spoke, both of their eyes widened in fear and surprise. The blonde relaxed his grip as he realized his fault.

"…Fine… I'll never say I'm sorry with _words_." A smile playing on the edges of his mouth, he shoved up on the hand holding his wrists and grabbed the one around his throat, throwing the blonde backwards. He pinned his arms next to his head and straddled one of his legs so he couldn't get away. The redhead loomed above the teen, a fierce but playful look in his liquid eyes.

"I'll say it with looks or actions. I'll never speak it."

Roxas tried to pry the hands off of his own arms by force, but the elder had an iron grip. He growled low in his throat, but then stopped his fighting, giving up. He knew he was physically weaker and couldn't do much about it, so why try? He felt the whisper of breath against his ear as Axel bent his head next to his own and shivered, eliciting a chuckle from the redhead.

"Now where was that fighting from before? The version that threw me to the sheets without a thought? Where did _he_ go? That's what you're like when I'm here, Roxas. You fight me." The blonde froze in shock.

'_Is that how I truly am? Do I fight him? Do I fight you…?' _Axel let the blonde up and the younger one couldn't hold the emotions in anymore, allowing the redhead to hold him as he cried bitter tears and murmured apologies and forgiving words against his chest. The emotions, foreign as they were, had a reason for their existence; he was realizing a truth of sorts.

Roxas finally realized why he… had been the way he was… the night before…

"I don't… want this to end…"

"Hush…" Roxas felt a warm hand caress his hair, the words whispered in the sunlight like the weeks before so calm it made him feel as safe as he'd always felt with the older Nobody. "It won't. I promise. If you go before me, I _swear_ I'll remember you. I'll never let you go… And I'll never let you fall…"

The blonde remembered the shock of pain from that day as well, the sudden memory causing physical pain to spring up on his shoulder. It throbbed with each thought surfacing until it was a constant pain. He felt the hands of the man curl into claws, digging into his body.

"Did you hear me…? I will never let you go." His tone softened a touch. "I'm not…being possessive… am I?"

"…N-no. I understand…" The teen's voice was feeble and he laid his head against the exposed collarbones of his partner. He felt a shiver run through Axel, and an ear was laid against the top of his head. "Hey…"

"Yes?" Roxas was hesitant in his next question.

"Do you like it too? The pain?" He felt the arms tighten further and his shoulders rose.

"No. I don't like it at all. It bothers me like an itch, and I want to get rid of it as soon as it comes. Can we just stop talking, please?"

Roxas smiled and kissed, as best he could, the side of his neck lightly. His lips smarted at the touch, but didn't bleed. "Sure." An idea popped into his head, trying to wrench the elder away from depressing thoughts. "You wanna get ice cream later?"

The redhead smiled at the childish wordplay he'd used. "Sure, but later…"

"Agreed… I want to stay here for a while…"

And so they stayed, eventually lying down on the stained sheets and holding each other. Roxas could remember gazing into pools of green and marveling at the flow of unspoken words and emotions that were carried towards him. He treasured the light caress of gloved fingers over each individual point of his hair and the sound of Axel's calm breathing. The sure gaze he gave him was as striking as the violet tears on his face.

The redhead would remember the sadness portrayed in the azure eyes he concentrated upon, trying to decipher what the child was thinking from the twin sapphires. He collected the memories of stillness and focus and the golden sunlight hitting the pale face he loved so deeply at such an angle that sparked flecks in his eyes and hair that shone like gold and silver.

The pair would always know the sacrifice they'd made for each other, knowing what the other wanted and feared, loved and gave away. In the span of one night and one morning, they'd found peace in each other's embrace and gaze.

But, still they stayed there…just… _existing_.


End file.
